10. Zombies.
9. No color television.
8. I'm typing this on a word processor plugged into a payphone.
7. Chuck Norris is teaching my physics class, and he keeps breaking the law.
6. Cats don't LOL.
5. Clowns chase me between classes.
4. My roommate is Kanye, and I can't get a word in.
3. Aliens have wiped out all the pirates.
2. Why is all the rum gone?
1. No LAG ppls :(